Ladies, If I Can Just Be Blunt? Series on Relationsips; Friends; Sexual Choices

INTRO TO "LADIES IF I CAN JUST BE BLUNT"? SERIES 

If you have read the intro on one of my previous Karie 's blog series "Ladies if I Can Just Be Blunt? Series", skip to the article itself below.  Enjoy!

One day a great revelation hit the top of my blond head.  "The common denominator to all of my relationships (the good and the bad) - whether it is marriage, business, ministry, friends or family - IS ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There is a reason I don't usually take "Woman's Meetings"; I can't say what I have to say "in church"... LOL!

This article:  

THINGS YOU CAN'T SAY REGARDING RELATIONSHIPS; FRIENDS AND "BAD SEXUAL CHOICES" IN A CHURCH" 
(unless I am the pastor:)

There are SO many things women need to be more "real" about - Sometimes we just aren't "honest" or "transparent" enough with one another or ourselves. It's kind of like the childhood story "The Emperor has no clothes".

I remember trying to find out from my grandmothers; great Aunts and other "older ladies" as to when they went through certain "women times" in life;  they all blew me off with a "Oh Karie - I don't know....have some coffee..." 

So - If you don't have an older sister, aunt or a friend who will tell you the truth ----- read on about some of my "discoveries" about "womenhood",men, sex, friendship and fashion....... here is a recommended read if you need a little "jump start" in your connection skills!

Article

If you are still young enough to "wish you had someone to talk to" instead of "knowing" because you have already walked by the mile posts of womanhood; "cat fights" with "girls", stretchmarks, gravity, wrinkles, bad tatoos, bad relationships, are known as a serial job hunter, chronic college student etc... you get my point!  HA!

I was smart when I was a kid and no matter who tried to tell me different I just went on believing that “I was smarter”.  Many “STUFF” happen in life that form who we are and what we think is “normal” but it doesn't have to define our future.

Here is my little "journey" of "self awareness"

One day I had to ask “Karie, How is that working for you?”

The woman in the mirror just started “rambling off” her well practiced list of “why it was like it was”…poor her, I could sympathize.  Then a foreign thought popped out of her mouth; “The people who should take blame for my mess are long gone.  I’m stuck with her.” 

The next questions was, “How can I change it? What can I do to help?” I asked the woman in the mirror? I was always good at self-medicating.  LOL.  So, it takes a bit of humor, a lot of honesty and a lot of help with some support from heaven and earth. 

Here are some conclusions I came to when I started to examine myself as a person and as a woman raised in a generation of “movements”.

I didn't need Gloria Allred, Hillary Clinton or Sarah Palin to prove that women could do whatever they had a gift to do and put their minds to.

I can still... I can still... I can still...What can you “still do”?

I can still diet if I really want to lose weight...

I can still go to school if I want to improve my mind...

I can still build healthy relationships. The common denominator in all my failed friendships, jobs, diets, and marriages is me.
There really are no excuses for not living up to my potential 

I just chose to party instead. What did you choose?  Let's be real.

What it is too late for

It’s too late to be a college basketball star but I can still enjoy sports

It’s too late to be a beauty queen but I can still let me husband “enjoy the view”.

It’s too late to teach my kids math but I can cheer them on while they try to teach their own children 

It’s too late to be a size 6 again and gravity is inevitable.  Kind of like a man going bald.  No thoughts after that statement. 

Excuses I had "enjoy one last time" and then “eliminate” to go forward:

Sex "At Will".  Some of you will stop reading here - ha ha!

God is PRO- CHOICE- He chose on the "one man per woman plan".

If I choose NOT to monitor my sex life, is “God” or “Destiny” really to blame?  

I could tell my story anywhere to anyone, but one day I said; “don't lie to yourself.”; Birth Control has been around since the sixties- Abortion since the seventies- if you use the first - the second is irrelevant. THAT IS CHOICE;REAL CHOICE. 
N.O.W. no longer speaks for me as a WOMAN in most areas - like these; I LIKE MEN.  I LIKE MY CHILDREN.  I LIKE MY FATHER AND I LIKE MEN - OH WAIT ..."I already said that"!

I don't believe we should "beat people up with the Bible if they are not even folks who profess to believe in it, BUT...let me say this about "bible thumping".



I think everyone should be true to what they say they believe.  I'm not hot on hypocracy but we are all hypocrites at one time or another.  I get that.
Here is what I say to "me".  If "I" (Karie) am a Christian like I say and am faithful to God, then I (Karie) will naturally be faithful to Jeff (my husband) because sexually "faithful" to Jeff is a "natural by-product" of being faithful to God and the basics of the Bible as I believe it.

Sex is optional and “Naked” usually happens on purpose – Generally we dont choose to participate in either of these in the middle of the street.  

It’s a choice to “go there” in my experience.  If my lifestyle as a young woman wasn’t “just one big party”, I may have said "no" more often before I met Jesus but "peer pressure was strong in those times... and normally "I WAS PEER PRESSURE".  Just gotta tell the truth.  After encountering Jesus - I was faithful to HIM.  Later, he sent me a "real MAN" who likes ME... and I still LIKE HIM!  

God makes good choices for his children if we don't get "hard up for a date" and get desperate.  Most relationships I hear "god" blamed for had NOTHING to do with "God".  Just keeping it real, girls.  How dumb do you think he is?  

Can I just ad here that there is nothing worse than being a parent, friend, co-worker or minister and some woman drags in a "half drown rat of a man" and says "look what god brought me".  

GEEZE.  Let's give God a break or at least a little credit;  Even He knows what "ugly" "brokedown" and "disgusting" looks like! He usually does not choose that for a life long partner of his daughter. 

I know ... I know... I have no compassion and "don't understand".  I know.  So - do us all a favor - bring him to a rehab and not to an altar!  I care. I care

I never "had to get married" and neither did you. I "chose" to get married and so did you.  No one drug us down the isle- our own feet went there... 
My choices hurt a lot of people. It didn't "make me a better person". 
I did not "have" to go through that" to "learn" by totally messing up people's lives.  I'm sorry - did I say that out loud? 
I know that is a popular doctrine out there but "respectfully" - ^&^*wash.  Show me in the bible that there is not always a way for me to get away from "temptation" and a solution for "stupid" if we want it.  

I know... I knooow... "God uses all things for the good of those etc... Romans 8:28.  HE DOESN'T HAVE A CHOICE! Look at us women! -Sigh-
If that is the case, "stupid away"... just go for it... give him something to "use for good"???? You know I love ya, girls!  LOL.

The common denominator to all my "bad" or "failed" marriages: ME!

 It doesn't matter what "type" of people they were - I/ME was responsible for all my choice - I DESERVED ALL THE MEN I HAD!  LOL.  After I had that “talk in the mirror”, I met "Jeff"- he was GOD'S CHOICE and I am grateful.

The common denominator to all my "bad" or "failed" friendships: ME!
A good friend is more valuable than any gold. A true friend has some qualities that you should consider. The same could be applied to a Husband. “Hot” doesn’t work past the initial “burn”.  (wink wink)

Qualities of a “Good Friend & Mate”

I am blessed with good friends.  One is my husband; many of them are my family!  Some are "just friends".

A friend is not jealous of your success, but provoke you to greatness and will not let you quit.
A friend listens to you when you are in a challenging time and then reminds you of who you are and what your goals are and moves you on. 

A friend will work by your side to make sure “it comes to pass.

-It” will cost them something and they won’t send you a bill; time, money, effort and more. I like that about Jesus.  “Friends” will be happier when you succeed that your mama!
A friend doesn't care if you are better looking, smarter, have more money, have a great husband, successful children, throw temper tantrums once in awhile, fail miserably at life, sleep on their couch, eat their food etc... LOL!
A friend laughs when you laugh and cries when you cry - Well - SOMETIMES THEY LAUGH WHEN YOU CRY!! LIFE.
 

Your beauty will fade - save now for plastic surgery. Cellulite will come - just plan for it - work out all you want if you like it! ...but it will come.

Your husband will get better looking as he gets older - you will just get older.

I hope you enjoyed the article.  It's just for laughs but it is also to make us listen to the things we say to ourselves and others.  Mostly, we actually believe that come out of our mouths.  We were created to do a little better, run a little faster and enjoy life a little more than most of us are.  

I would love to hear your comments. Men, if you read it - comment away - women don't usually believe me!  LOL.  
 

I will choose to put in a disclaimer at this time about the tragic abuse of young girls and women that still goes on around the globe. I am speaking to those of us with a ‘sound mind’ and living where we can “choose our paths”.  My path was very rough as a young girl, until a good friend taught me to forgive others and myself.  Then He began to help me heal little by little.  So, destruction?  I did it, it was “done to me” etc… I get it, but I still had to choose “out” of my cycles of “victim”.  There is way out of mental and physical hell if you choose the “road less travelled” with a good friend.  My friend was Jesus.